Why are we so thankless?
Sunday, April 5, 2009 at 1:47 pm
- Bus Guzar Rahi hay. Daal roti par Guazara hay.(Just living hand to mouth)
- Bus aaj kaal hath Tang hay, Kuch bachta he nahin.(Things are not good these days. We can’t save a single penny)
- Array sahab ibadat kaisy bus takarain martay Hain .(My friend! we just bash our forehead against floor)
- Tu kia Huwa? wo Biwi hay..uska farz hay k Khidmat karay apna Schohar ki aur Uski Family ki(So what? she is my wife, it’s her duty to serve me and my family)
These are the statements which are very common in our society and it’s even said by those who would have performed several Hajj and Umrahs in lives and claim that they are more Muslims than others. These sentences usually said by the people who are thankless and takes everything for granted.
Whether you admit or not but the reality is that we have been ungrateful since our childhood and we always believed that whatever was given by Allah to us was actually not some Ehsaan by the creator. Though as a child we can’t understand all these things but then it’s duty of parents that they make realize their kids about the blessings he enjoys but unfortunately parents themselves are ungrateful creatures.
Is it not true that most of us take our parents for granted and think that whatever they have done was nothing special but it was their duty? How many times did we realize that our mothers have been waking up early morning since ages and make fresh breakfast for us when we are in hurry for school/college/university?They Iron our clothes and prepare lunch for schools but how many times did we think about it and said thanks to them? We did not because Allah has not taken this blessings back from us. Why do you believe that you actually deserved all these blessings? Ever thought what could you do if you would have opened your eyes in some orphanage or Allah has taken your parents back in childhood and put you in a situation where you gotta face some pathetic relatives all the time who would love you because you are the key to reach to the property which you own? Just make a visit of any orphange and you will feel that Allah(SWT) has been kind enough that He has not put in such situation.
Similary parents also take their kids for granted. They have read in Quran that a kid can’t even say “Uh”( in arabic and Quran it’s translated as “Uff”) thus they are allowed to say whatever they want or do whatever make them feel good without thinking a bit that their kid is still a human rather than a bot and that kid will become a parent one day. They usually abuse those verses of Quran without having understanding of it. They usually underestimate their kids and keep imposing their views and this usually lead to a disaster. That’s just coincidence that my mom wanted me to be an engineer and it was also my 2nd choice(I wanted to study Astrophysics but due to lack of resources I could not pursue). I had never imagined that I would be a computer engineer one day.. Anyways but I have personally witness a case that a guy wanted to study engineering but parents forced him to become a doctor and he ruined his career. My tuition teacher in 8th Grade become the victim of “Parents’ Wish”. He was an really expert at mathematics but he was forced to study Medical Science and he could not succeed. Later He did B.Com and then MBA. See how the things went wrong for that guy. Parents could dream and wish for something but they can’t impose it at all! But parents don’t realize it at all, they believe it was their RIGHT which Allah has given to them. Yeah RIGHTS! but how many times parents do thank Allah for such blessings? Ask those who don’t have kids.. ask those mothers who dream for a baby but they can’t have. If your kid is obeying you and doing whatever you wish then you should be grateful of Allah and for that kid. What could you do if he would have disobeyed you? What can you do if that kid throws you in some old age homes? Kids do all these things and if your son or daughter has not mistreated you like that then you should thank millions of times of Allah that you did not face such situation. Be thankful rather than ungrateful!
Similarly you can find similar issues between siblings. The eldest one believes that his/her younger one has to obey him/her anyway thus treat him/her like a servant. Similarly the younger one wants to be pampered all the time by his/her elder siblings. Why is like that?Fine we all wants to be loved and cared but hey! there is a fine line between love and care and possession. You can’t expect to possess someone else just because you are in a relation with that person. What could you do if you were all alone and had no sibling with you? What if Allah takes back your elder or younger sibling and leaves you all alone? Ask me how does it feel. I have lost my elder brother. Though I have never seen him live,I have just seen his grave and whenever I go to graveyard, I do feel quite restless. Though for me he never existed but he did exist for sure. I do sigh..I do wish that Kash.. He was alive and I could share my problems with him which I can’t share with my younger sister but I can’t!! he is not with me at all. So do respect and value your siblings and consider them the precious blessings of Allah.
Now let’s talk about husband and wife relationship. I don’t know how things work in outer world but in Pakistan both husband and wife usually take each other for granted. A husband believes that if his wife has been serving him for years, it was her duty. If she irons his clothes, make good dishes every day and serve husband’s parents then it’s husband’s right to enjoy it because they abuse these hadiths for their own interest. This is plain wrong and unjust with wife! Husbands should remember that nowhere in Quran or Hadiths it’s mentioned that a wife is responsible to serve parents’ husbands. She is not even answerable to them for anything at all and if she’s still doing it then consider that you would have done some good deed in past that Allah blessed you with such a wonderful wife. Now some stupid wife should not take it as if she is allowed to mistreat them..she is not and if she does that..she is just going to screw her own life because husband’s parents are still humans and hurting a human is something which even God doesn’t forgive unless the victim himself/herself forgives the person. What could you do if you end up with marrying a woman who makes your life hell? who disobeys you all the time and doesn’t give any respect? What can you do if you marry a woman who stops you to practise your religion and who doesn’t give you enough space? this is why Quran says that a Muslim woman and man should always prefer DEEN over other factors when choosing a spouse because if your spouse do know about deen and respects it then things will automatically work in your favor. Yes it’s your wife’s right to please you and give you all comfort but don’t take it for granted. Accept it as a blessing of Allah and a gift of your good deeds. You will not lose your respect if you appreciate every thing she does for you and for your family. If you want to be consider a dignified husband then you should act like up one. Similarly wives should not take their husband for granted and be thankful of Allah and their husbands that they work hard for them and make them to buy new clothes every month and buy new stuff. It’s husband’s right to earn money for you and take care of issues but if you appreciate him, it will just make him feel better and he would put more efforts to bring smile on your face.
It has become our habit to curse our government all the time. We are never happy with them. Fine they are not good but are we? our rulers are reflections of our own actions. Even Islam says it. Our rulers are also humans and part of our society. How many times did we compare our situations with Iraq,Palestine and Bosnia? or even with Zimbabwe? we have right to condemn bad things but too much whining is not gonna help us either.
Similarly we take our civil rights for granted. We believe that the whole city has become our property because we pay taxes hence we are free to spit paan on roads or even on people, we are free to urinate walls and pollute them with chalking. After all it’s our city right? How many of us do these things in our own homes? Anyone please? probably none because in reality we are hypocrites. We love our own homes rather than city. We actually disown our city by doing such acts rather than loving and caring it and then we curse rulers if they do same things. why? In reality, nobody wants to see his ugly face in the mirror. Our rulers are like our mirrors. Paying taxes and bills does not give you freedom to abuse the facility. If you are paying KESC bills then it does not mean you aree free to use A/Cs in each room or keep the lights on even in day time! why did you people forget the lesson of Israaf in Islam? Why don’t you remember that at the day of Qayamah you will be even asked for all these things? Just like we get touchy for the things we posses and create, Allah is also concerned about the things He has created for us. When we can be concerned about own things and get ready to question others then why should not Allah do it?
And there are our friends who works for companies. Appraisal process is common in all companies but I often see sad faces who are not happy with the raise they get by the employer. Fine, they would have valid reasons for frowning but at the time of recession when people are being kicked out in thousands, it does not sound good and fair to act like a thankless soul. One should not forget that nobody can have Rizq more than what Allah has alloted. So be patient and thankful and pray that you get more next time and thank Allah that you are still on job or your business is funtionaing fine.
Every Muslim recites Surah Fatiha in Salat and while reciting Quran but how many of us actually tried to figure out the meaning of ?الْحَمْدُ للّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين
The day we understand the real meaning of it, we will stop being thankless souls and we would stop taking every thing for granted because after All, All Praise is due to God, Lord of the Universe.(1:1)
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Categories: Religion, Idiot, pakistan, welfare, rants, Nothing last forever, World, Tableegh, Palestine, Life, facts
on April 5th, 2009 at 5:25 PM
Allah Tala has rightly said in the Quran:
وَإِنَّ رَبَّكَ لَذُو فَضْلٍ عَلَى النَّاسِ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَهُمْ لا يَشْكُرُونَ
But verily thy Lord is full of grace to mankind: Yet most of them are ungrateful.
Al-Qur’an, 027.073 (An-Naml -The Ant)
Just want to clarify one thing:
When the Quran talks about being good to parents and to server them and take care of them - that includes your biological parents as well as your grand parents - great grand parents and so on and also your parents in law and grant parents in law and so on…. They must be respected and taken care of and served just like any woman will serve her own parents and similarly it also applies to man - his parents in law are also in the same position as his own parents. We have the great example of Musa (a) who lived with his parents in law and worked for them and took care of them.
on April 5th, 2009 at 5:26 PM
oh and yes according to a hadith many women will be deprived of paradise because they were thankless to their husbands.
on April 5th, 2009 at 9:45 PM
JazakAllah Javeria for mentioning about parents in law and the verse frm An-Naml.
on April 6th, 2009 at 4:47 AM
Salamalaikum
Allah knows best, but what Adnan has mentioned is more correct as far as I know. Wives are under no obligation whatsoever to serve their parents in law. If they do, of course, it’s better. And, wives might be blameworthy if they put their husbands in a lot of hardship (which causes him to commit haram) if they are extremely negligent about their parents in law and also force their husbands to not take care of his parents. But, as far as direct obligation on women to serve her parents in law, then no, there is no obligation. Women even have the right to ask for a separate accomodations if they want. But, again wives should be mindful of financial and family structures of their husbands.
I never knew that when Qur’an mentions taking care of parents it means parents in law! I would love to know the reference for this part of the tafseer.
Read this (I did quick search; there might be other more clear fataawa): http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/7653 (go to the end to see that nobody can force a wife to work for her husband’s parents).
However, sister Javeria’s intentions and spirit of Islam does greatly humbles me. Jazakaha Allahu khairan
on April 6th, 2009 at 12:06 PM
some times, like today, I myself the lone non islamic guy commenting on Daddu’s blog. But What I read and understand is same in Hinduism and Sikhism. These are the two religion practised in Northern part of India and not so long back even in some parts of Pakistan. What I can say is we are never satisfied. I am never satisfied. I can’t be. No one must be. Satisfaction blocks progress. But, as daddu’s mail sai, we are becoming thankless. I have to agree with him. He is right. We are not supposed to be satisfied with the things but we must be thankful to almighty(if some thing like that really exists).
On a lighter note, daddu must be thankful to us for commenting on his blog and he must invite us on a dinner. I hate him when he tells me he had mast halwa or biryani or murgha or some other delicious food.
PS: over look the typos.
Ch33r5
on April 7th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Good post
I know we’re always whining (especially if I analyse myself first).. but sometimes, the frustration of not being able to do anything to rectify the situation leads to this whining mode.
Thanks for the inspiration though… (Maybe you could have become a counselor :P)
on April 8th, 2009 at 2:21 AM
@Kumar: yea I am very thankful of yours
@UNi: counselor? as if u don’t know me
on April 8th, 2009 at 10:14 PM
GREAT POST….